Wednesday, November 14, 2012

Life lessons with my Karate Kid

I could count the lights on the ceiling as I got pinned for the 3rd time.  I remember that I was just a little older than my son when that happened. It was my first wrestling meet and my Dad had come to watch me.  I looked over at him as I got rolled for that 3rd time (I believe I wrestled Bart Floyd, Dan Beatty, and Jay Pitz.)  I was so disappointed.  I felt like such a failure and I never wanted to wrestle again, ever.  So when I sat in the bleacher seats for my sons first Martial Arts tournament I had this unwanted memory.  With it came all the awkwardness of the feelings that were associated.  I wanted him to do well, and felt he would, but I also knew that anything could happen.
After the initial "forms" competition came the "sparing" event that he was signed up for.  He was so itching to get in there that he was working the wall over and then another kid from Project Future / Bushido Kai was doing some light sparing in the hallway before hand.  He was quite ready.  So ready that I thought he'd wear himself out first! 
With orders from my wife to record the matches I had my iPhone in hand.  I watched the two matches through the screen.  The first match I was most nervous about. But right at the start he got a point, the other person got a point. Next thing I knew the match was over and he won 3-1!  I looked back at my friend Rod and got a thumbs up from him.  He won?! What a relief!  He won!
The second match started and with great amazement my son had knocked the kid back on his butt with a clash.  After that, well, it didn't go so well.  He lost 3-0 (clashes are not points).  I waited to see if there were any more matches.  None.  They lined the kids up and awarded trophies for 1st to 3rd and a medal for 4th.  Somehow he got the 4th place medal out of 4 kids.  (We're still looking into that as I don't quite see how that happened... with his loss to the 1st place guy he should have gotten at least 3rd place. But I digress...)
He was devastated that he placed last.  Just like me, he was faced with the sense of being a failure.  He was crying and ready to quit.  At that moment I had a chance to pass on to my son something that it took years for me to learn about... Endurance / Perseverance.  Failure is not fatal.  You have two choices, stay down and throw a pity party, blame and point fingers or get up and learn from the failure... work harder and get better... be responsible for what will happen next.  It's scary how much my oldest is a "mini me"... such similar interests and yes, such similar internal frailties (even though I keep telling him the great qualities I see).  Personally, I never thought I was very smart, talented or good looking.  I learned along the way that who I am in Christ is much more than what I or others have thought of me.  I know that my son is taking what he heard and putting it into practice... after his class last night, he put on sparing equipment and got right back at it!  So proud of him! My lesson in this?  Don't let the past dictate the present... those lights may become stars to reach for.
How about you?  How have you kept going when it was easy to just quit?